Many expatriates take years to feel at home in their new country, while others seem to be very settled after only a few months. What makes the difference between success and failure and between happiness and unhappiness?
I’ve met and worked with many expats over the years, of different ages and family situations and from all sorts of countries, and it seems to be that the ones who succeed and are happy soonest are the ones who practice the following habits:
Do Your Research
Before you leave, learn all you can about where you are going. In particular learn how much things cost, so that you can plan and manage a budget. What kind of house will you be able to afford? If you won’t be able to afford a car, make sure you rent a house near good public transport. Find out too where others from your country live, and about churches/ social groups/ business networking groups, etc where people congregate so that you can make the most of this support group from day 1.
Ask for help!
Make the most of being new and ask for help. Nobody minds helping and many people before you will have learned the hard way, so make the most of their experience! Additional expatriate coaching is available to you if you need it and may be provided for you if you ask.
Think outside the square
You are coming to a whole new life and things you took for granted before may not happen here. You might not be able to do the same job – or even to work at all, in which case, what can you do to challenge and fulfill yourself? Your social life may be very different and your friends will become your new family. See these differences as opportunities to try doing something a different way – you might be surprised how much you like it!
Build a network
Networking is critical everywhere and it’s important to think about not just ‘who you know’ but ‘who knows you’. You may have taken your networks at home for granted, but your new networks may be the source of your house and furniture, your job, your car, all kinds of helpful information, and of course your friendship and support group. Seek out others who are in the same situation, so you don’t feel isolated, and accept any invitation you receive – you never know where it will lead.
Focus on the present and the future, not the past
It is inevitable that you will feel lonely and homesick at some point, and it’s very tempting to look backward and compare there with here, but nobody here wants to hear about it. Keep your grumbles to yourself or your partner and outside the house be the sunny, friendly person that other people will want to meet and become friends with.
Become culturally aware
Learn all you can about the culture of your new country through books, the internet, or an expatriate or cross-cultural coach if you can afford it. Even if you speak English well, don’t assume that language is a culture. You wouldn’t join in a competitive game of sport without first learning the rules, and equally, you can’t expect to ‘win’ in your host country without first understanding the rules of the game.
Maintain a healthy work-life balance
It’s tempting to do nothing but work in the first few months. You’ll want to get some money together, get the house sorted, make a good impression on the new boss, and so on, but that kind of pressure isn’t healthy and isn’t sustainable. Have fun exploring your new city, and spend time together as a family or a couple, even if it’s just for a walk or to watch TV together. If the family isn’t happy together and isn’t supporting each other emotionally, no amount of money is going to make your move a happy and lasting one.
Patti McCarthy is an expatriate and life coach who helps migrants and expatriates not just survive the experience but actively enjoy it. She is the author of Cultural Chemistry: Simple Strategies for Bridging Cultural Gaps which ranks 4.5/5* on Amazon. Readers of Emigrate2 can purchase a copy of Cultural Chemistry at a 25% discount, making paperbacks £17 and PDFs £7. Discount is only valid when purchased directly from Patti. Anyone wishing to buy a copy email patti@culturalchemistry.co.uk for more information.
If you would like further information please connect with me on LinkedIn or email patti@culturalchemistry.co.uk